Four cats

Letter by Phil Wright, Gillingham

ImageIf you get a cat to roll on a computer keyboard for 30 minutes, run a spell and grammar check, you’ll have a document humans can read.

If you get a second cat to do the same thing to the document and run another check, you’ll have a treatise upon which a political doctrine can be based.

If you get a third cat to do the same thing to the political treatise, turn off the anti-virus and run another spell and grammar check, you’ll have the treatise Iain Duncan Smith’s ‘sanctions policy’ is based upon. The department of works and pensions is advanced techno.

Labour politicians are asking for more information about Iain’s policy. But, unfortunately, his fourth cat didn’t like him much, and ran off to live next door. He has been trying to tempt the cat back with bowls of food.... But it’s only tins of cheaper brands from food banks.

The cat isn’t iimpressed. At least, not enough to roll on a keyboard for him, so providing Labour MPs the answers they require.

The moral of the situation being: be kind to cats. They are an important part of government. And will be helping to run Britain for the next five years.

‘Hard-working’ cats, that is.