Love your enemy... everyone can change: Bob Geldof

IssueOctober 2005

Tell Me Why? Yes my darlings, today we're looking at Bob. Not Bob the Builder, not Bob Mugabe, but that tousle-haired wee sprite of a man, Bob Geldof.

Remember when, as a young man, he told ol' Thatch a thing or two about grain surpluses? My, how he's changed. More recently he's been seen hanging out with some dodgy characters, David Frost, Tony Blair.

In with a bad crowd, his radical roots aren't showing a bit as he schmoozes his way from the White House to Downing Street. He's a man who thinks Bush knows what to do with Africa and he's fully behind the Blair-Brown "Remedy for All that is Wrong with the World". Nice to see the old chap hasn't got more conservative in his old age isn't it?

Man of the blazer

So what if he used the G8 and counter-summit as a glorified record launch? So what if his lyrics reek of good old imperialism - of the sort that painted the globe pink and sold millions into generations of slavery? He's a radical man isn't he? I mean seriously edgy - he even wears a blazer with jeans. What more radical postmodern subversion of the corporate identity?

Pop for morons

"So tell me why - we all hate Geldof... I want to shoot the ..." Whoaaa! Hold it! While it may be almost true to the original lyric, we're aiming for the guy's salvation, not his kneecaps!

And surely we're all being a bit harsh on a man who's tried his best all his life to make as much money as possible out of the woes of the world? I mean, surely we're all being a touch tough on a man who uses the magical medium of moronic pop to bring the woes of the world to an otherwise uncaring audience?

The Katie Melhua of the radical anarchists?

So let's try. Lets all try really really hard to give him a second chance. After all, with a bit of our love he could be the Katie Melhua of the Radical Anarchists. He could be the Joss Stone of nonviolent action and, he could, with a lorra lorra love, even one day be the Marshall Mathers of the socialist workers.

Lets all try together shall we... "Tell me why!

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